I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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