Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize