My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
