I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
