dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
