In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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