I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
