Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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