69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
All the doctor said was why
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize