Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
