More tranny stories later!
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
