omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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