idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize