I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
