kristin has been a bad kristin
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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