fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
