brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
