so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
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