i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
