I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
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