So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
