Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize