Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
