I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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