you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
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