You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
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