matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
