I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize