dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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