Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
