Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
ttyl tear gas
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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