Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Randomize
