no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
