You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Randomize
