have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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