I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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