Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
