I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
