I am spending my child support on dildos
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
