just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
