So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
