Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
