I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
