remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
