Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
