Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
It's official drugs can't kill me
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize