it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
