You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
