Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize