That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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