Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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