She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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