Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
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