so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
