A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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