I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Randomize