Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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