My friends, they love my intelligence
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
