I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize