I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
