I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
