We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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