now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
