That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
