No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Randomize
