If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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