Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
