for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
