My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
