dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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