I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
