how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
His hands were made for my vagina.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
My bed smells like the plague
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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